What’s more disrespectful, a locked door or a broken promise? For one mother of two, the answer became painfully clear the moment she stepped into her parents’ home and realized her brother’s aggressive dog was still there, despite reassurances to the contrary when she came to visit.
She had made this clear right from the outset. Her children, aged one and four, love dogs, but she knew it was their very curiosity that would make them vulnerable. This was no ordinary dog-it was one she had seen for herself snap at children, including her brother’s own five-year-old. On an earlier family vacation, she’d said she wasn’t comfortable in a house with the dog, even if the dog was to be kept locked away. “The door can get open. He can slip out,” she had said. Her brother reassured her he would remove the dog altogether for the duration of her stay.
But promises unraveled quickly. She had been told the dog was supposed to be in a bedroom separate from all sleeping arrangements, but she found out it was actually confined in the master bedroom of her husband and daughter. It would be moved later, but this wasn’t good enough to placate her fears. On the spot, she decided she would book a hotel. The reaction was immediate and hot-tempered: she was being “disrespectful,” and she should just trust her parents when they said nothing would happen. Yet, she could not get past one thing: accidents do happen, and she wasn’t putting an aggressive dog in proximity to small children.
Her decision reflects the same thing child safety experts stress: Boundaries around animals are not overreactions; they’re a necessity. According to the CDC, more than 4 million animal bites happen each year, and children are a huge percentage of those victims. Most-approximately 70%-are from dogs the victim is acquainted with. Small children often do not read subtle cues that an animal is uncomfortable, such as tucking its tail or flattening its ears, and typical playful kids’ behaviors may inadvertently provoke a fearful or aggressive response.
Safety-conscious parents know that even a locked door isn’t foolproof. As one pet safety guide notes, older children can easily bypass babyproofing measures, and a dog confined in a room may still be stressed or reactive if approached. Experts recommend clear rules: no unsupervised contact, no disturbing a dog while it’s eating or sleeping, and always giving the animal space to retreat. In homes where those rules can’t be guaranteed, separation-either by physical distance or by choosing different accommodations safest route.
The emotional fallout from such decisions can be intense. Family members may feel slighted, interpreting safety boundaries as personal criticism. But as licensed therapist Sheina Schochet advises, when it comes to children and potentially dangerous pets, parents must get on the same page with their partner, communicate boundaries clearly, and back each other up-even if it means declining certain gatherings. The goal isn’t to alienate loved ones but to prevent situations where a child’s safety depends on luck.
Yet there are ways to resolve such conflicts without burning bridges. Pet-safety educators advise briefing hosts in advance, explaining the specific risks involved, and offering alternative solutions-such as arranging for the dog to stay elsewhere temporarily, the use of gates or playpens, and designation of areas off-limits to pets during visits. In certain cases, bringing in a trainer to evaluate the dog’s behavior and suggest ways of managing it helps put concerned relatives’ minds at ease.
Still, as pediatric ER doctor Dr. Nkieru Orajiaka points out, holidays and family visits are a time when incidents of young children being bitten commonly rise. Changes in routine, overstimulation, and under-exercised dogs can heighten reactivity. That’s why parents must trust their instincts when something feels unsafe. “Your kids’ safety should always be your priority,” reminded one commenter to the mother, sentiments echoed by many who sided with her decision to leave.
She opted for the certainty of a hotel room over the gamble of a locked door. It may take time for the family tension to heal, but the message in that boundary-setting couldn’t be louder: protecting children comes first, even when it’s inconvenient, even when it’s unpopular.
