It’s every parent’s nightmare: a child vanishes, and the clock starts ticking. For one New South Wales family this week, that nightmare ended with relief when one-year-old Hariet Kamlade who has a medical condition requiring regular medication was found safe more than 60 miles from where she disappeared in Molong. NSW Police confirmed that she was found late last night at Dubbo Police Station, after a desperate hunt began when she was last seen at 5 p.m. Tuesday on Ridell Street.
Police say Hariet was accompanied by a man in his 60s and a woman in her 30s, both of whom were relatives of hers, when she was taken into Dubbo. News of all three was released when they were being sought, officers urging haste due to her age and medical condition. The Australian Federal Police record that approximately 50,000 missing persons reports are made nationwide annually and about 95% are found within a week, many within 24 hours. Though comforting statistics, the psychological trauma of those hours or days of suspended animation can leave families with lifelong wounds.
The AFP National Missing Persons Coordination Centre refers to this as “ambiguous loss” a sorrow that “never quite settles” since it’s bound up in uncertainty. Even if the child is brought home safely, the adrenaline crash can lead to parental or sibling fatigue, anxiety, or hypervigilance. From family trauma research, such an occurrence can put pressure on marriages, upend routines, and even induce physical responses such as headaches or insomnia. The loss of a child is a traumatic event that can test the strongest of marriages, said a study, citing the manner in which blame and guilt are introduced even in nonlife-threatening cases.
Healing, officials say, begins by admitting the emotional toll and not dismissing it in relief. Counseling, individual, couples, or family, can address the fear so that it does not feed on itself and become chronic anxiety. Parent support groups for parents who have gone through a missing child episode can also be beneficial. As one of the counselors who work with bereavement said, Support groups can provide a sense of community and connection… sharing experiences and emotions with others who understand can be a powerful way to heal.
Prevention is also a big component. Although not all vanishings are preventable, there are measures that can be taken to decrease the risk. For babies and toddlers, this can mean always keeping them in view when out in public, informing older children how to inform an adult at once if they lose them, and ensuring that carers have a full understanding of medical requirements and habits. For separated or divorced parents, legal protection such as Family Court orders, Child Alerts, or the placement of a child on the Family Law Watchlist can also act to prevent unauthorized removal interstate and overseas. Where international travel is an option, knowledge of the protection and limitations under the Hague Convention is also important.
Technology can also be a lifesaver. GPS tracking devices for tots and little children, frequent phone monitoring with older children, and secure sharing of locations with trusted family members can all provide degrees of comfort. But experts advise technology must supplement, not supplant, active care and open communication.
A return to normalcy for Hariet’s family, or any family, can be one that slowly unfolds. The initial happiness of reunion gives way to waves of “what if” and over-vigilance. Swelling the book on the event through the creation of a family tradition, a thanksgiving practice, or even an idyllic day spent together is one manner of signaling to children that they are once more safe. And for parents, remaining connected to community support ensures that they will not be buckling under the aftershocks alone.
Behind each open case of the missing child, closed in hours or pending for years, there is a mesh of human emotion, choice, and resilience. Though the statistics tell us that the majority of children end up safely home in a moment, the experience informs us to maintain safety near, to call out for assistance when shaken, and to keep family bonds near.
